Saturday, October 27, 2007

I TOLD YOU MY LIST WAS LONG!!

41. My favorite thing to shop for is food
42. The first language I learned was shona
(Ishe combo reya Afrika)
43. I have hitchhiked twice but my mom says no more
44. I have now gone bungee jumping
45. My dreams often start with a story in my mind
46. I know who I am
47. I am not very creative or artistic so I let my sister’s deal with that aspect of life
48. I like rollerblading and roller-skating
49. I played ringette when I was little
50. My favorite color is green
51. I sleep with a down duvet and love it
52. I hate mint/peppermint which pretty much makes me a freak in the free world
53. I don’t like those valentines cinnamon hearts
54. I sleep with only one pillow
55. I’m allergic to cats and dogs
56. I like chick flicks and comedy
57. I don’t like scary movies
58. I play the trombone and baritone
59. I enjoy pasta art
60. I used to trip on the stairs every time I went up but now I only do it occasionally
61. I love slinky’s
62. I get crazy seasick on cruise ships and even rocking chairs
63. I have had my heart broken but never been dumped
64. I hate breakfast in-a-can things – and when the person beside you has them
65. I always sing primary songs while I’m driving, especially by myself
66. I don’t really like tag
67. I enjoy those hedgehog chocolates occasionally
68. I rarely see hail so I think it’s really cool
69. I have an amazing family
70. I want to go back to Zimbabwe some day
71. I have some violence issues I think
72. Guys who date me are suckers for punishment
73. I love basketball, volleyball and baseball.
74. I also like tennis, squash, soccer and ultimate Frisbee
75. I have a blue toque that I love
76. I am a sandwich artist
77. I love to read poetry
78. I have dimples
79. I have had a bug lay eggs in my shoulder
80. I love hurdles and enjoy sprinting

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

thank you for the risk

Dear god
Thank you for the risk
Even if all goes well
And my baby is fine
Thank you for the risk

Thank you for showing me
That I am more than what I think
I am capable of more than just getting by
I am not always simply selfish
I am my own best and worst critic
I see my failings in bold
Prominent and glaring
And my strengths in italics
Lovely but a little unclear
Thank you for showing me
What you could make of me

I forget to look
And see me as you do
I forget what I am capable of
I know I am a daughter of God
But I need to see
All that my heritage implies
When I look in the mirror
And remember
My eternal potential
I’m changing who I am
I’m changing what I’ll be
For I am truly a daughter of God
I wonder if anyone else
See’s me as you do

I see so much in others
Their gifts and fears of man
I see how bright they can shine
And how they can sometimes
Hide their light
Their natural compassion
Instinct to protect themselves
Bold statements full of hidden fear
Hard work to fit ideals
And wonder
How do they see me?

Dear god
Thank you for the risk
Even if all goes well
And my baby is fine
Thank you for the risk

Sunday, October 21, 2007

the issue not adressed

Well this week on Wednesday I have an ultrasound at a specialist in Calgary (at 7:45 am!!) some place close to the foothills hospital. The lady calling to inform me of the appointment had the grace to sound sheepish about the time, which she should considering im from out of town! So very conveniently my mom was already planning to go play in Calgary for the day since my dad has an insurance class so she will be able to take Melia and come with me if I need her to. I am not scared – just curious. So for your information here is my first response and then my later one. Obviously the latter is NOT all my own words and will be very familiar but it put my feelings so perfectly i stole the words.

initial response:

Terror
Confusion
Maybe anger
Struggling to accept
Still a question
But I feel the inevitable
I suspect
That
My selfishness is offensive
But I’m having a hard time
Controlling my selfishness


later:

Comfort
Peace of mind
A changed heart

I marvel that he should descend from his throne divine
To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine
That he should extend his great love unto such as I
Sufficient to own to redeem and to justify

I think of his hands pierced and bleeding to pay the debt
Such mercy such love and devotion can I forget
No, no I will praise and adore at the mercy seat
Until at that glorified day I kneel at his feet

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me

He cares for me
He died for me
If we but come to him
He will make our burdens light
He will make our weak things strong
He will always take care of his little ones
We will never be asked to do something of which we are not able
To those to whom much is given, much is required
Put your shoulder to the wheel
Happy day
All is well

Sunday, October 14, 2007

loving fall

So being as how this year is Melia's first year really playing with the leaves i managed to sneak a few pictures of her spreading out Vance's carefully raked leaves. Obviously she was a fan and we will soon see how she feels about snow. Rain, she is a big fan of, so perhaps snow will be loved as well.

my family came this weekend for a thanksgiving party and to help my mud my basement so of course melia was in heaven with the attention and the twins. she screamed each time someone left - very traumatic. we did manage to finish most of the mudding so sanding is our next project and then painting! i still cant decide on my paint colors - i have some thoughts from my sisters but i cant decide if i want two or three colors or just one or what so its probably a good thing we still have some work to do to get there. So that is my lovely story for today!